Domestic and family violence is a human rights violation and it is against the law.
Domestic and family violence is not acceptable in Australia. If you use family violence, your visa can be cancelled or refused. Citizenship applications can also be refused. There are legal protections available to people who have experienced violence or abuse from their partner or family members. Find out more on the Department of Home Affairs website.
Please call us if:
- You feel unsafe at home
- You are using violence or abuse in your relationships
- You are not sure if what you are doing is abusive
- You are not sure if what you are experiencing is abusive
Safety planning is a useful tool for people using or experiencing violence. It means you have thought about how to keep yourself and others safe. It is helpful to think about this before you are in a heightened situation, so you can be prepared and better control how you react.
Remember: you are in control of your own choices and behaviours. You cannot control how other people behave.
It is a choice to use violence, and you can choose to stop using violence.
Understanding how violence happens
Domestic and family violence often occurs as part of a pattern in unhealthy relationships. You might feel like you are trapped in a cycle that you can’t escape.
If you are worried about your use of violence, it is helpful to spend some time understanding the patterns that lead to you choosing to use violence. When you recognise these patterns you can take steps to redirect this negative energy before it becomes violence.
You might consider:
- Noticing the warning signs that things are getting worse (e.g. stress at work, financial pressure, etc)
- Thinking about what increases your risk of using violence (e.g. alcohol, illicit substances, gambling, etc)
- Thinking about what usually happens before violence starts
- Building your support network and knowing who you can call for help
- Thinking about what can help you stay calm and think clearly
- Developing tools to regulate emotions. This might be things you do in the moment (e.g. walking away and taking a breather) or things you do regularly to manage stress (e.g. taking up a sport or hobby)
- Knowing that you are responsible for your own actions, not other people’s actions
Building your support network
It is very important for men to have a support network. We know that men who have healthy relationships with other people in their lives are less likely to choose violence, and are generally happier and healthier.
Think about the people in your life who you can reach out to for support. These might be people who you can call or message when you are struggling. In some situations, it might be helpful to have people who can come and help you leave and stay somewhere else.
Some examples of people who might be in your support network include:
- Professional supporters like a DVConnect Mensline Counsellor, your mental health professionals, or your doctor or GP
- Trusted community leaders, like a coach or mentor
- Trusted religious leaders
If you are experiencing violence
Safety planning is also useful to keep yourself safe if someone else chooses to use violence.
Whether you want to leave the situation, stay in the relationship, or have already left, there are things you can do to keep yourself safe.
This might include:
- knowing who you can call for help
- thinking about where you can go to be safe – whether that is a room in your house, a friend’s house, or your closest police station
- having important things ready to take with you if you need to leave
- planning how to make phone calls safely
- keeping important phone numbers with you
